September - Harley Quinn June - Oni Press's Megan from Local
August - Stephanie Brown/the Spoiler May - Some comicon chick in a Wonder Woman outfit
July - Supergirl
OCTOBER 2008
SUE STORM - THE INVISIBLE WOMAN
Sue Storm of the Fantastic Four, possibly the most unattainable woman in comics. Still looking good in spandex after two kids she can create force fields that can kick your ass and blow you up from your inside out and turn herself invisible which is sorta disappointing because she's hot. Besides those attributes and her overwhelming beauty adding to her staggering unapproachability she's married to the world's smartest guy who everybody calls Mister Fantastic that can stretch himself into any shape.
How can even monarchs like Doctor Doom or Namor who have tried to woo her in the past compete with a guy who can satisfy a woman with the ability to contort his body in ways that would make the riders on THE BANG BUS blush.
During Marvel's Civil War her and hubby Reed Richard's took a break from each other trying to figure out their differences. Even though Mr. F became a key in Iron Man's fascist cabinet I assume she realized that anybody short of Thor, God of Thunder who was dead at the time was every going to rock her world as good as Reed and they got back together soon after the War ended. He in the meanwhile probably banged through the sluts on the Thunderbolts.
She's a courageous hero and has saved our planet plenty of times, but her happy perfect life surrounded by her loving family and the adulation of millions kind of makes you want to puke. No matter what we feel in our pants, don't we all deep down hate the prom queen?
Back in the Day More Recent uber-MILF
(On a side note, I usually avoid comics when the art seems to be porno pictures traced the the one above. When editorial resorts to boner stunts like that the rest of the comic can't possibly be any good.)
Of course I can't go without mentioning Jessica Alba's portrayal of Mrs. Fantastic on the big screen. Her acting was vacuous and wooden, yes, but wasn't that perfect casting for Marvel's most two dimensional woman anyway? I think Alba got a little too aneroxic looking in part two but the picture to the left is the girl of my dreams come to life. She's so hot I don't think I'm the same species as her.
- Mike
SEPTEMBER 2008
Harley Quinn
Today is the 12th so I'm a little late updating the babe of the month. For anybody who was eagerly awaiting this months babe and actually pays attention to this site, I'm sorry, and stunned you exist.
Harleen Quinzel, aka Harley Quinn, the Joker's girlfriend. Created by Paul Dini for Batman The Animated Series, she was once a top shrink working at Arkham Asylum until she fell in love with one of her patients, The Joker and became his sidekick.
This months babe is not really an inspired pick. Every comic book geek's got a boner for her and writing about her is a bit obvious but who cares? It's Harley Quinn!
She's a hot fun chick who's a bit nutty, therefore thinking she might understand your (pathetic) life, but dates an asshole. What geek hasn't fallen for a girl like that.
I'm not into clowns usually but I like Harley. Once flipping the channels late one night I stumbled upon HBO's Real Sex and saw a piece on sex parties where people have sex dressed up like clowns with whipped cream and pies and balloons and things and it disturbed me to no end. I try to avoid that show because there's always something demented on it and I don't want to know about but it's too weird not to witness it.
Yeesh!
My attraction to Harley is a little more wholesome than that, but I reiterate, I can only imagine the demented fan-fiction she must inspire.
AUGUST 2008
Stephanie Brown, The Spoiler/Robin IV
The Spoiler Spoiler without her mask
My favorite comic book chick is Stephanie Brown aka The Spoiler aka Robin IV from DC Comics. It's easy to dub her my fav because she's the only female character I ever actively followed reading. Strange because I devote an entire section of this site to them.
She appeared mostly in Robin as the sidekick to Batman's famous sidekick. I liked Spoiler (okay LOVE her as my pseudo girlfriend) because she wasn't a very good superhero no matter how hard she tried and had a trailer trash kind of life. Her father was the crappy third rate Batman rogue the Cluemaster, a Riddler ripoff who leaves clues to his crimes. She started her amateur crimefighting career helping Batman take down her deadbeat dad by leaving clues to his latest crimes once he got over his own compulsion to do so and leading to his apprehension, thus "spoiling" them.
From there she started hanging out with Robin #3, Tim Drake who she could never win his romantic affections. Her mom’s a drunk or something (I don’t know for sure but she always looks like crap to me in every issue). She also had an illegitimate kid she gave up for adoption. Which she probably wouldn't have hooked up with that dude who ran off on her if Robin ever gave her the time of day.
Through it all I was rooting for her.
A "very special" issue of Robin Spoiler putting up with Robin's crap
Robin was an idiot for not going for Spoiler. He was always fretting over his little Russian girlfriend like a puss when he’s got this much cuter superhero wannabe chick that totally digs him. I guess that’s what kept the storyline interesting because I was hooked on it.
Just when things are looking up for her and she she works her self up Batman's ranks to become the new Robin, he fires her because Batman's a dick. To prove herself to him she accidentally starts a gang war using one of the stategic plans from Batman's files in the bat-computer to take down crime in Gotham. She eventually gets captured and tortured by the evil villain Black Mask trying to fix the mess she started and later dies because the Dr. Thompkins at the free clinic wants to teach the caped crusader to stop hanging out with kids and doesn't treat her wounds.
Spoiler as Robin
Turns out though she wasn't really dead. She and Doc Thompkins went to Africa to hide out for a while. Spoiler has returned to Gotham rekindling a relationship with Robin who is still indifferent to her and awaiting her next indignity.
JULY 2008
SUPERGIRL
This month's comic book babe is none other than Supergirl.
Classic Supergirl
She had many incarnations in the past but essentailly she is Superman's cousin Kara Zor-El. I don't quite remember for sure if Zor El is hyphenated or not but I don't want to Google it because the amount of time I spent writing this article about how I have the hots for a cartoon character is sad enough.
I dig foreign chicks. And she's the ultimate foreigner. She's from the shrunken last city of Krypton, Kandor, that's in a bottle kept in Superman's Fortress of Solitude. She can also fly which is a bigger plus to me than if she liked horror movies from the 80's.
Her initial concept was to get girls into reading comic books back when she was created in the 50's by creating a nice sweet female version of Superman. Next to Wonder Woman she's probably the most successful chick superhero. And IMO much better looking. Wonder Woman always seems to be drawn with arms like a man.
From Supergirl The Movie Cartoon Supergirl
Of course comic books today don't have the same adolecent audience it once did like the silver age of comics.Of course comic books today don't have the same adolecent audience it once did like the silver age of comics.
The seemingly innocent character has been geared towards a much different comic book audience. She's drawn with a much skimpier outfit, perkier boobs, and a hint of lesbianism that would make even Wonder Woman blush.
Porno Supergirls
What made Supergirl win babe of the month was my guilty purchase of Supergirl isuue #18.
Supergirl #18
It was a strange experience. I don't normally buy cheesecake comics because I don't want to be one of "those" dudes. And by "those" I mean creepy. The comic geek that I am, I still haven't given up on trying to be accepted by everyday society. But the cover was undeniably hot. I bought it with an acceptable issue of Spider-man, and World War Hulk.
The story seemingly was aimed at the problems of today's teenage girls as embodied by the current version of Supergirl, who's a bit mental fighting some sort of a alternate dimension Silver Age Supergirl representing an ideal wholesomeness. The current Supergirl wins illustrating life is more complicated in today's society. Nice enough message for a story a mixed up teenage girl could appreciate and drawn like a mud wrestling match for a rowdy Superbowl party at Hooters making it as deep as her bellybutton on her insanely sweet middrift.
It's a far cry from her heroic sacrifce and "death" in The Crisis on Infinite Earths and I hope they do something more meaningful with this potentially awesome character than giving comic book guy from the Simpsons a boner. Although boner material probably sells better.
Anyway at my next stop to the comic shop I bought issue #19 too. Call me part of the problem.
-MIKE
JUNE 2008
MEGAN, The chick from Oni Press'ss LOCAL
What the hell is this?
Not all comic book babes are supehero chicks or some superheroes girlfriend.
This month's babe is Megan from some black and white book called LOCAL from Oni Press that didn’t have any characters in spandex or monsters written by Brian Wood from Vertigo's DMZ, something that gets alot of praise but I never read it, and drawn by Ryan Kelly who I know nothing about but can draw a really cute girl. Anyway. it’s about some depressed girl named Megan who smokes a lot. I think in every issue she lives and works somewhere new and has mundane twenty-something experiences.
I got two issues of Local so I thought I share some thoughts on it to diversify this website and give me some indie comics cred.
In Issue #5 she’s working in a rundown movie theatre in Nova Scotia. In this particular issue she goes around lying to people about her name and past because she apparently hates herself. She’s cute though, that‘s why I picked it up.
I bet the creators probably based her on some girl they know and were infatuated with. I’d like to date a mental chick like this too. The comic didn’t totally suck and it was actually a neat little read but there should be no surprise I found this in the clearance bin.
In Issue #8 Megan works in a diner and dates the lowly dishwasher. It's a little morality tale. She's gets flirted with by some handsome customer in a suit and goes out on a date with him thinking she's trading up but finds him boring once she gets into bed with him. This issue shows her BOOBS in it. In the end she goes back to the dishwasher who despite being broke is a nice guy.
If I find another issue of Local in the clearance bin again, I’d probably buy that too but not too many more. I don’t see the pace of the series picking up any. How much more smoking can Megan do?
On a side note, I was embarrassed when my dad flipped through my bag to check out the newbies I brought home and saw this sensitive book amongst my new Batman and Thunderbolts comics. He probably thought I went wussy.
- MIKE
MAY 2008
SOME COMIC-CON CHICK DRESSED LIKE WONDER WOMAN
If any one has been paying attention to the Comic Book Babe of the Month, it started in June. But since this site is new and needs more material, AND this chick is too damn HOT to wait till September, so I'm retro-posting a babe for May.
This babe of the month is some hot chick dressed like Wonder Woman at the San Diego Comic-Con.
Most of you, my fellow comic geeks have probably already seen this girl before, but I would just like to reiterate, DAMN! The picture is of some model named Valerie Perez that the Associated Press floated around with their coverage of the 06' San Diego Comic-Con.
Even though I think Wonder Woman is a cool character I never been into her comics because she's usually drawn too manly, really tall with big arms. Basically like an attarctive transsexual. If DC Comics drew her like Valerie though I wouldn't miss an issue.
A little too jacked It's a man baby!
Oh well, that may never happen, but as the great band Journey once said, "Don't Stop Believing!"
-MIke
